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| The Deer Hunt The Deer Hunt Saturday 1:00 a.m. - Alarm clock rings. 2:00 a.m. - Hunting partner arrives, drags you out of bed. 2:30 a.m. - Throw everything except the kitchen sink in the pickup. 3:00 a.m. - Leave for the deep woods. 3:15 a.m. - Drive back home and pick up gun. 3:30 a.m. - Drive like hell to get to the woods before daylight. 4:00 a.m. - Set up camp - forgot tent. 4:30 a.m. - Head into the woods. 6:05 a.m. - See eight deer. 6:06 a.m. - Take aim and sqweeze trigger. 6:07 a.m. - "Click". 6:08 a.m. - Load gun while watching deer go over hill. 8:00 a.m. - Head back to camp. 9:00 a.m. - Still looking for camp. 10:00 a.m. - Realize you don't know where camp is. 12:00 noon - Fire gun for help -- eat whild berries. 12:15 p.m. - Run out of bullets -- eight deer come back. 12:20 p.m. - Stange feeling in stomach. 12:30 p.m. - Realize you ate poison berries. 12:45 p.m. - Rescuded. 12:55 p.m. - Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped. 3:00 p.m. - Arrive back in camp. 3:30 p.m. - Leave camp to kill deer. 4:00 p.m. - Return to camp for bullets. 4:01 p.m. - Load gun -- Leave camp again. 5:00 p.m. - Empty gun on squirrel that is bugging you. 6:00 p.m. - Arrive at camp -- see deer grazing in camp. 6:01 p.m. - Load gun. 6:02 p.m. - Fire gun. 6:03 p.m. - One dead pickup truck. 6:05 p.m. - Hunting partner retuns to camp dragging deer. 6:06 p.m. - Repress strong desire to shoot partner. 6:07 p.m. - Fall into camp fire. 6:10 p.m. - Change clothes, throw burned one in fire. 6:15 p.m. - Take pickup, leave -- partner and his deer in the woods. 6:25 p.m. - Pickup boils over -- hole shot in block. 6:26 p.m. - Start walking. 6:30 p.m. - Stuble and fall, drop gun in mud. 6:35 p.m. - Meet bear. 6:36 p.m. - Take aim. 6:37 p.m. - Fire gun, blow up barrel plugged with mud. 6:38 p.m. - Mess pants. 6:39 p.m. - Climb tree. 9:00 p.m. - Bear departs, wrap *@*=*/@ gun around tree. Midnight - Home at last. Sunday - Watching football game on T.V. , slowly tearing hunting license into little pieces, place into envelope and mail to game warden with very clear instructions on where to place it! |
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