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| Moronic instructions On a hairdryer: 'Do not use while sleeping.' On a bag of chips: `You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.' On a bar of soap: 'Directions: use like regular soap.' On some frozen dinners: 'Serving suggestion: defrost.' On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box: 'Fits one head.' On packaged Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box): 'Do not turn upside down.' On packaged Bread Pudding: 'Product will be hot after heating.' On packaging for an iron: 'Do not iron clothes on body.' On children's cough medicine: 'Do not drive car or operate machinery.' On sleep aid: 'Warning: may cause drowsiness.' On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: 'For indoor or outdoor use only.' On peanuts: 'Warning: contains nuts.' On a packet of nuts: 'Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.' On a Swedish chainsaw: 'Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.' On a child's Superman costume: 'Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.' |
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